On 2nd August 2026, I distinctly remember walking around at New Wine (Christian Conference), grinning like an idiot, deep in thought about how happy I was. A huge wave of gratitude fell over me about my walk in faith. Peace and joy filled my heart, and I was reminded of where this journey began.

For context, in November 2023 I had surgery on my lower back. A disc had protruded in my spine and shut down my life. Everything from fitness, movement, work and even my mental health was stripped away.

Second to the immediate relief of pain from surgery, I found great relief in throwing away the antidepressants prescribed for nerve pain. Recovery was not pain-free or easy, but I thrived under pressure, and as I decided to leave my job to focus on health, I looked around my life as a game, a fun task of self-betterment. Within a few weeks of getting home, I was hiking, stretching and returning to normal life.

But something had changed in me

Even now I am not sure what had changed, but looking at my life and taking inventory, I gazed over my faith. Sure, I had called myself a Christian throughout my twenties, but the mess, the missing the mark, was evident. I had filled my life with problems, caused so much pain to people and picked up addictions, living a life totally focused on myself. My list of terrible things was lengthy, which left no wonder, really, why by the time I had hit my mid-twenties I didn’t want to be around any more. A voice at the time had called to me to give it one last shot. Almost a decade later, still getting the self-development piece wrong, I had become a disciplined, organised person, only with a hard heart. Not much of a holy man or Christian by any standard.

So when I heard the voice inside my head saying, “You call yourself a Christian, but you haven't read the bible, you don't pray, you don't worship, you don't go to church, and you don’t really know if you believe in Jesus.” It hurt, but I totally accepted it as what it was: truth. Applying the tenacious, disciplined character I had become, I dove deep into looking at Jesus. I looked at what the Bible said, and what other works and historical records said, separate from people of faith and bias.

This part of my journey reminded me of Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you

The funny thing is, seeing this played out in my life and many others, if your heart is in the right place and you genuinely seek God, you find Him; He doesn’t make himself hard to find.

So as the scales fell away from my eyes (Acts 9:18), I got on my knees (which wasn’t hard, as I was already stretching on my living room floor), and I called out to God for forgiveness and to come into my life and take control. I then committed my everything to seeking Jesus (Jeremiah 29:13, Deuteronomy 4:29, Psalm 119:10).

'The 5th Gospel'

Calling back to the start of this article, I had prayed from the deepest parts of my heart and soul for a faith that would move mountains and be so obvious to others that it would point to Him and His existence through my life. And as I recalled wading through miracles, spiritual gifts, friends, and my wife turning to Jesus over the last couple of years, a deep longing was fulfilled. As Wes Huff (Vice President of Apologetics Canada, specialising in the history of ancient biblical manuscripts) states, the "5th Gospel" is you. I was living it out and writing my own story, trying my best to bring glory to His Kingdom not as the main character, but because His grace for me, for you, drove me to it. Tears welled in my eyes, and I walked back to my wife to eat lunch under the bleachers. 

John Lenox recently said something profound on a podcast about the word sceptic, which seems so appropriate to the above about searching for Jesus. The word sceptic comes from the ancient Greek word ‘skeptikos’, which means inquiring, considering, or one who examines; but as God identifies as a person, to learn about and know a person, we have to draw close and spend time with them. In the simplest terms, God's instructions to spend time with Him are to read the Bible, pray, and worship.

I’m not going to break down what these mean or give different examples, as the Bible has many more that carry the richness of these practices. My only wish is to encourage my fellow believers and curious non-believers: if you do these things wholeheartedly, every day, as much as you can (without burning out), you will see Jesus turn up in your lives, and others will too.

So I encourage you: ruin yourself for the ordinary life and leap into a world of miracles, and to God who loves you and wants you to be part of his Kingdom, not just in heaven but here on earth. Amen.