"That's a good question!" The Power of Christian Mentoring

I sat back and considered how to answer the question. This wasn’t a tricky interview situation or being put under the spotlight in some way. In fact, I felt very at ease.

I leaned back in the comfortable armchair and paused to reflect and think about what to say. My mentor, in her usual, perceptive way had asked me a really good question. She seemed very comfortable with the silence. I needed time to process her question and my response.

Mentoring in a work situation tends to focus on professional development, leadership skills, or guiding people into skills they want to grow in. Christian mentoring is about more than self improvement or personal development.

It’s about helping people become more and more like Jesus. Christian mentoring relationships provide an intentional way of engaging with God's agenda. Having a mentor means having a person to encourage us, to offer a fresh perspective, to support us and bring some insights from their experience and their own faith journey. A mentor can help us to reflect on what is happening, to make sense of it and to decide how to act, in order to produce a different or better outcome in a similar situation in the future.

A mentor is not someone who walks ahead of us and tells us how they did it. A mentor is someone who walks alongside us to guide us on what we can do.

Simon Sinek

The Bible knows nothing of solitary, isolated faith. We are made to function in community and share our lives with each other. Paul is a prime example. At first the believers in Jerusalem were skeptical, that the man who had been so opposed to the followers of Jesus, pursuing and persecuting them, had now become one of them. We see Barnabas bridging the gap and building relationships not only with Paul himself, but also between Paul and the church family. Barnabas was a mentor to Paul and when he needed help in Antioch, it was Paul he asked to come and work with him. In time, Paul became a mentor to other people like Titus and Timothy.

So to go back to where I started...

My mentor had asked me a question about why I felt guilty about looking after myself. I realised that as a wife, mother, caregiver, and church worker, I had become caught in a cycle of “put others first” “don’t be selfish” “take care of others before yourself.” If I wasn’t careful this was going to lead to disillusionment, frustration and exhaustion. My mentor and I discussed ways that I could make some changes and I began walking more, taking time to relax and read and not always feeling that I had to be on call all the time. It was ok not to reply to texts and emails immediately! I can also remember the joy that I felt, making a small purchase of something that I needed and choosing the item I wanted, not just something that was in the sale. That might seem trivial but it was a big step forward for me.

So would I recommend having a mentor? Absolutely. I have had several different mentors and I can honestly say that I think my Christian mentors have helped me to grow in ways that would not have happened without them.