The Art of Listening

Truly listening sounds simple but it's often more difficult than we imagine. And yet it's in that space, that friendship, that moment where we are heard that we feel a deep sense of connection and belonging. This could be said of how we interact with one another but the same can also be said of how we interact with God. Listening is a key part of connection.

Recall an experience where you were listened to well.

What did it feel like? How did it help you?

In our lives it can be hard to slow down and listen as so many things demand our time and energy. I know I get distracted easily.

‘I’m prone to distractions, God. I find it hard to keep my thoughts on you.’
God looked down and sighed: ‘I wish I could say the same about you. I can’t get you out of my mind.’

By Patrick Purnell, The Book of Furrows

If we can learn to sit and listen to God, enjoying His presence and His delight in us, from that place we are better equipped to listen to others. Jesus took time to rest with His Father (Mark 6:31) and then went out, listened to the crowd yet was drawn to the individual.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’

Mark 6:31

Otto Scharmer offers us 4 levels of listening (off-site link):

1. Downloading
2. Factual
3. Empathic
4. Generative

I pray that each day I may have the opportunity to step into the level of generative listening as I think it is what Jesus modelled - being fully present and engaged, connected to something larger and therefore enabling transformation. It can be a moment of holiness, a moment where God is present.

If I have been listened to I feel energised, free, able to lift my head and be who I am called to be. If we want to be good listeners we need to know that place of being heard and loved by God.

As persons are accepted and prized, they tend to develop a more caring attitude towards themselves. As persons are empathically heard, it becomes possible for them to listen more accurately to the flow of inner experiencings. As a person understands and prizes self, the self becomes more congruent with the experiencings. The person becomes more real, more genuine…there is a greater freedom to be the true whole person.

Carl Rogers

An Invitation

Who is God inviting you to listen to today? Maybe He is showing you how much He loves this person and He wants you to be His ears.

Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

Henri Nouwen 

Next Steps

If you would like to join a community where people listen and where you can be known by others then we'd love to encourage you to join a small group. These mid-week communities meet in various places around the Island and exist to provide spaces for authentic community to flourish. Why not consider joining one today.